so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize