real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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