She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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