he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
