did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
