How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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