Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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