just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
