we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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