fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
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