Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize