He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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