we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
