Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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