Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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