i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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