I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
