in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
