By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You can't special order awesome
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
