yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
There's even glitter on my cock...
please don't ironically join a cult
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