You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
