found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It was confusing and full of hummus
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
