I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
