Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
