Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
