last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
