If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
