Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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