I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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