Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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