it's too hot outside to masturbate.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
