so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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