Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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