you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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