is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
