Do you still have your period?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
