it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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