help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize