i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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