So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
