I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
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Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
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Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize