Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
