I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
