ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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