every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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