i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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