So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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