Don't you send me to vm
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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