I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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