I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
