If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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