She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
