Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize