I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
