Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
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sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
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Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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