I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize