my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
