i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
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Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
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Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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