I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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